Tuesday, 24 May 2016

Thongs, Shark Tank and Vegemite.

It's got to the point where I have lost track of the days/month/time/everything. I guess that's what happens when you take a gap year and no longer have to head in to work or school. It was only when I recently decided to look at a calendar to try and work out exactly when I should go home that I realised I've now been in Australia for almost four months. That's a quarter of a year (maths was always my strong point) and, since being here, I've definitely learnt a lot. I'm not talking about finding myself on some sort of spiritual journey, I'm talking about Australia and Australians.

  • Australian TV is weird: They've basically made their own version of British TV shows. I understand this is common in most countries, but Australia have taken it to a whole new level. They've taken Dragon's Den and turned it into Shark Tank (this one blew my mind and I'm still not over it), have their own version of Gogglebox with lookalikes from the British version, (with the most obviously being everyone's favourite gay couple), and they even show late night American chatshows, Britain's Got Talent and BBC documentaries. They've also recreated H2O (a personal favourite growing up) and I am not happy.

  • What's Wrong With Uncle Ben?: So when recently binge watching American talkshows, I was surprised to see an advert for Uncle Tony's rice. What's wrong with Uncle Ben? Has someone bumped him off? Is he not good enough? I need answers.
  • Things I had heard about but didn't think were true before arriving in Australia: Australians don't wear shoes. This is a personal favourite and I must have some Australian blood in me (I don't... My Grandpa has traced our family back to the 1500s, before Australia was even founded and there is no Australian blood), as I too hate wearing shoes. I'm talking all. the. time; out for a walk, in the supermarket, to church... Food deodorant sales must be soaring. Also, Australians are really good-looking. Like, really good-looking, both males and females. And everyone can surf. I'm at a serious disadvantage here. Swans are BLACK AND RED in Australia. Oh, and all the myths about water running the opposite way? True. Even locks turn the other way. Everything is different. I dropped my laptop recently and now appear upside down when I skype someone and have been telling people it's because I'm on the opposite side of the world and they've believed me, the gullible twats. 
  • I NEED A DRINK: You know those nights when you've had to finish work late and want to go home to a glass of wine so call in at a 24 hour supermarket or petrol station to buy some? Yeah, you can't do that here. Considering just how much Australians drink, it's kind of weird that you can only buy it at specialist liquor shops. They don't even sell it in supermarkets. 
  • Not That Kind of Thong: This is definitely my favourite. Considering Australia is part of the Commonwealth and speaks English, they definitely have their fair share of words for things. They call hair bobbles "hair lackies", swimming costumes/bikinis "bathers" and, my favourite of all, flip-flops "thongs". I got a bit of a surprise when I was in a popular public area in Perth, hearing parents tell their children to put their 'thongs' on. I had no idea what to think.
  • Vegemite is rank: Most British people love Marmite but hate Vegemite and vice versa. I am definitely one of those British people. Vegemite smells extremely similar to Marmite but there is just something so wrong about the taste and this is why I have trust issues.
  • Dominoes is nice and Pizza Express is basically Pizza Hut: Dominoes in the U.K. is basically what students turn to when they're feeling like 'splashing the cash' but, here, it's actually nice! Pizza Express is unfortunately not a really nice restaurant here but instead an even cheaper version of Pizza Hut. Australia, if you're going to copy us - at least do it properly.
Just because I'm feeling generous...

Still a bit gutted not to have run into Chris Hemsworth or Kylie.
Have any of you ever been to Australia?
Let me know in the comments below!